My speech on marriage equality, delivered on Sunday, June 7, 2009 at the New Paltz Pride March & Festival, which took place in Hasbrouck Park in the village of New Paltz, New York.
Speech by Jay Blotcher
New Paltz (NY) Pride March & Festival
June 7, 2009
My name is Jay Blotcher and I have been married four times. Not because I love getting toasters and blenders as wedding gifts, but because I want equal rights.
When California upheld Proposition 8 last month, it ended their same-sex marriages. But it left intact more than 18,000 marriages already performed. My marriage with Brook Garrett was one of them. So we have the rights of marriages while millions of other gays and lesbians do not. Not cool, California!
Our marriage is legal in six other states that allow same-sex marriages: Massachusetts, Connecticut, Iowa, Vermont, Maine and New Hampshire. But until New York State passes a marriage equality bill, our marriage license is not worth the paper it is printed on!
I’m been fighting for marriage equality for 20 years. Even before I had a husband. Back in the early days of the AIDS epidemic. That’s when gay men were falling sick, and their lovers could not make their medical decisions. And when these men died, their partners were thrown out of the apartments they shared because there was no law to recognize their relationships. That’s why my group, the AIDS activist organization ACT UP, marched in 1989 to the Marriage Bureau in New York City. Man and man, woman and woman, we stepped up the counter to demand marriage equality. We were refused.
But progress was made. Eleven years later, I returned to the Marriage Bureau with Brook to register as domestic partners. Legally, it meant very little. But the symbolism was important. So we vowed to honor our relationship as often as we could in our mission to attain full marriage equality.
That same year, we had our civil union in VT. And in 2004, we were married by the courageous New Paltz Mayor Jason West – but those unions were later annulled by the state. And in July 2008 we stood in a California courthouse and recited our marriage vows. We were finally legal.
Here in New York State, the fight goes on. A marriage equality bill approved by the Assembly now faces the Senate. But many politicians will not support it. One is Sen. John Bonacic of this district. He has not publicly opposed the bill, but last month, during marriage equality lobbying day in Albany, Bonacic said the bill goes against his religious beliefs. Excuse me, Senator – your job is to carry out public law – not religious law. Politicians who use religion to make voting decisions should give up their office.
Why is marriage equality so important? I’ll give you an example. Last August, Brook became seriously ill. I had to approve emergency surgery to save his life. Despite our California marriage two weeks earlier, New York state had no law that recognized our relationship. Benedictine Hospital -- a Catholic hospital – could have legally said: You are not next of kin. Thankfully, they let me sign the papers for surgery and Brook recovered. But what about the other LGBTQ New Yorkers who face a similar health crisis? This is no exaggeration: Marriage equality is a life and death issue.
But Bonacic sees it as a religious issue. Other local senators who oppose the marriage equality bill include:
William Larkin, R-Cornwall
Stephen Saland, R-Poughkeepsie
Thomas Morahan, R-Rockland
If these men are your Senators, I want you to make me a promise right now. Call their offices tomorrow. Remind them they are public servants. They must serve all citizens – not just the religious fanatics. Not just the bigots. Not just the homophobes.
Marriage equality is a noble mission. But it’s not a complete solution. Let me ask you a question:
Who out there are married?
Who want to get married?
And which of you don't ever want to walk down the aisle?
See -- many of our community don't want to tie the knot. But we live in a country where married people have more rights than single people. 1,324 more rights, to be exact. That is wrong. Sure, I’ll continue to fight for marriage equality, but we must keep fighting for equal rights for all LGBTQ Americans!
In my 27 years as a gay rights activist, I’ve seen great progress. But some things stay the same. For instance, the same hateful stereotypes used by our enemies. It helped them win Prop. 8 in California. They paint us as godless demons. They call us child molesters. A threat to the American way. Anti-family. They insist a child must be raised by a mama and a daddy. We must end those accusations now. The next time you hear anybody use those words against us – whether a politician or a religious leader or a neighbor – don’t stand for it. Stare them in the eye and say, That’s a big ugly lie!
Be loud. Be firm. Let’s not forget anger as an important weapon.
We will no longer live in the shadows. We won't be shoved back into the closet. We have ushered in a new era for LGBTQ people. Marriage equality now! But more important -- equality for all!
Thank you.
Filed under: Blotcher Blog